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This game seemed to take longer than average to load, and considering I'd not seen it before, I presumed it was because the animation was going to be quite good. How wrong I was! I've seen better animation from a stuffed parrot.

The graphics are not even well drawn. They look not too dissimilar to those you find on a Spectrum. The gameplay is, er, missing completely and I personally don't think it's worth £7.99.

The plot centres around the fact that you are on your way to meet your girlfriend, but the route to her is not exactly free of trouble. You step off the train and set off on your way only to find every thug and villain in the entire universe has decided to congregate on the very streets that lie between you and your girl.

There had to be one apple in the bunch, and they don't come much worse than this. You could find better games written in Basic, so avoid this like the plague.

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Hit Squad * £7.99

What are you if the entire world wants to kill you? You're a Renegade, that's what. You're also a dead man. In Renegade, the plot is fairly unimportant. What really matters is that you get to thump, kick and otherwise maim any or all of the characters who wander onto your screen to meet you.

You have a variety of fighting moves to inflict upon the unwary computer opponents, and after a few good whacks they fall down, shimmer and die. If your brain isn't too taxed by all this, try to remember to walk from left to right. This brings on more baddies (hooray).

Renegade is probably one of the better beat-em-ups. It has got rather smooth gameplay, nice graphics and a lot of 'feel' to it. For an added special effect you could have a go at flicking tomato ketchup at the screen as you play. It worked for me.

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'Review Renegade' roared rumbustious rogue Ramshaw. Rotter. "Rough up razor-wielding riff-raff ruthlessly in a reprehensible rampage of retribution!" Right.

Renegade reveals rugged recidivists in a rowdy but routine rumpus, riddled with ropey renderings of rabble-rupturing rucks. Really, a rhinoceros would retch at the retarded ramblings revealed in this rotten re-release, in which rheumatoid reprobates with rigor mortis are rudely routed with a rock-bottom repertoire of rabbit-punches and ruffian-rattling kicks.

The whole ridiculous rigmarole, I reckon will be responsible for repeated riots in retailers, as ripped-off wretches rebel against being robbed of readies for such rancid rubbish, and return this remarkably repugnant refuse rapidly.

Renegade was once a redoubtable, refulgent, rip-roarding rave of a game, but this ragged resurrection reverbates with rampant regression. I regret requiring to reluctantly request that you reduce this reckless replica to rubble, but its relegation to a remote region of Rekjavik would be a rescue from real rancour for all concerned.

You can call me a reactionary runt, but I'd reply that Renegade rankles, and revenge, retribution and resentful reprisals form rectitudinal rascals would relentlessly regale me were I to resort to rating it with anything by a reviling raspberry. Respect.

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An oddity, this. Although Ocean advertised its availability several years back, the Amiga version of Taito's duff 'em up coin-op never actually appeared in the UK. Faithfully recreating the five manic stages of the coin-op, Software Creations' conversion is graphically very similar to the Amstrad CPC game. The gameplay seems as slow as that of Alan Sugar's baby.

The scenario tells of a fighter out to avenge the kidnap of his chick form the clutches of yet another Mr. Big. Thus, starting in the subway, the player works his way through to Big's lair by kicking the crap out of any thugs who get in his way.

With a full complement of easy-to-use kicks, punches and throws, the player must take on up to four opponents at a time, many of whom are armed or are seated on motorbikes. And, as expected, a harder fighter is rolled on when all his subordinates are KO'd.

As a conversion, Renegade is more than adequate and is quite a steal as a budget release. However, its lasting appeal is severely doubtful, and the hardened binary fighter will complete it within hours. Still, hopefully Renegade will pave the way for the 16-bit conversion of Target Renegade and Renegade III, which are considerably better.