GARFIELD, the feline fatso with the sardonic smirk, is dreaming about all the royalties he could get for appearing in a computer game, all the lasagne he could buy with the money.
Garfield has a big smile on his wide chops. But wait, a cloud passes over his face. Something is amiss. Deep in dreamworld Garfield has signed up with The Edge, but notices that Tim Langdell, the boss of the company, doesn't smell quite right. A first inkling of the horror to come.
Then Garfield notices that there are holes in Tim's jumper, and that he's wearing a tatty old hat. Odd, but it gets odder when Tim shows Garfield how the game is progressing some months later.
There's a scrolling section, a scene in a chocolate factory and a skating part. But where's the Garfield, the plump one asks, bemused. Right where we want him, snarls Tim, six-inch blades flashing across the office, glinting in the moonlight streaming through the window.
Garfield meows in surprise and finds himself catapulted into the game, becoming the computer version of himself.
TIm has vanished as Garfield peers out from under a blanket. There's the open fridge and part of his home, but he can only see grey nothingness extending beyond the edge of the room. Garfield realises that there is no way out of this screen, unless... unless he plays the game.
But to do that he needs to be asleep. Thinking of oceans of lasagne and planets of chocolate he eventually nods off. Floating above in a dream-
He selects the alpine racer choice and a dream version of himself wanders off the screen in search of escape.
Finding himself on a pair of skis is quite frightening for an overweight cat, especially, as in all dreams, his movement is terribly slow. It's like skiing through treacle.
Logs, trees, bushes, shrubs and other obstructions scroll up all to be avoided. It isn't too easy swerving out of the way, so jumping is the best bet. Going over the ramps with a jump sends him flying through the air, a much quicker and safer way than skiing along the ground.
On the bottom of the dream screen a little vignette of Garfield looks sleepier and sleepier each time he falls foul of an obstruction. To keep his dreamself awake, Garfield must swerve violently towards the edge of the screen with his mouth open in order to intercept local villagers who stand with plates of cake and food.
Unfortunately no sooner does Garfield see the nosh than the holder of it has scrolled past out of sight. There's nothing for it but to keep jumping. Even if he can't hear the sound of skiing or very little else except for some tuneless dirge in the background.
Eventually Garfield finishes the course and staggers into a lasagne factory. As he sits down to scoff, he knows that he's more like the Martin Bells of the skiing world than the Franz Klammers.
Then Garfield finds himself wandering around a very blandly painted factory, trying to turn valves so that a supply of feed gets through the various chocolate egg-laying chickens.
Up conveyor belts and down poles, up and down in lifts, and more jumping and trying to turn those infernal valves, and then wandering all the way over to the one screen which tells you how many chickens out of four you've fed.
All the while Garfield is getting sleepier, and although there's bits of food around, there isn't enough since a randomly appearing Odie keeps pinching it.
Poor Garfield, even if the lack of food wasn't making him sleepy, the boredom of the factory would. Time watches on, and cackles manically.
But now he finds himself on ice skates, tearing around a pond littered with snow, tyres, and half of the sprites of the first game. Only he's getting too fast and he can't slow down unless... Crunch!
He's stopped now, but as soon as he starts up again in the quest to find the missing chocolate egg-laying chicken, he's racing along. Even the ability to turn 90 degrees instantly doesn't help when you hardly have time to see. Oh no, a dead end... Crunch!
That's it for poor Garfield, his alter ego from dreamland returns to his captive computerised torso and shivers under the blanket. Garfield can only sit and wait, and hope that some talented individual with the patience of Job can finish the game and rescue him from this nightmare that The Edge created.