Fist Fighter logo

Zeppelin Platinum * £7.99 * (Not previously reviewed)

What interesting names these fighters have. Tai Ping, OK I will go along with that, Gino - just about passable, but Anna and Sir Gerry - come on, you are 'avin a larf ain'tcha? And Mickey the Finn? Although he sounds like a ticket tout from Bethnal Green, he is actually Swedish.

Three locations are on offer in which to choose your fist fight (if indeed you want to 'have a go') - Egypt, Japan and America. Why do they not ever use such places as Sunderland or Basingstoke? And is it not time we had English small town beat-em-ups where kids from different housing estates go around looking for bother?

Fistfighter is averagely average, but at eight sovs it does not cost an arm and a leg.

Fist Fighter logo


The aim of the game is to take one of eight top martial arts experts and, using his skills, beat the tar out of every challenger you meet in one-to-one contests. As with most beat 'em ups, Fist Fighter features the usual range of hand and foot combinations plus the ubiquitous special move unique to each contestant.

The game's set over three locations, in Egypt, Japan and the USA. I can understand the programmers choosing Japan and the USA as venues for gruesome martial matches, but exactly why they chose Egypt is beyond me.

Anyway, naff choices aside the rest of the game manages to live down to the standards set by the simply awful box art. If I was to tell you that the art is a poor rip off of a particularly bad action flick, called Angel Town, you'll get some idea what the gameplay's like.

Perhaps the best description of Fist Fighter is, it's the worst beat 'em up I've ever had the misfortune to play. The main sprites are poorly drawn with their limbs resembling something a five-year old could manage in his first art lesson. The collision detection is abysmal and there's very little reaction shown when blows do actually land.

Worst of all, is the fact that an uncoordinated idiot could finish the game in minutes. Even I managed to beat all the opponents in my first session. Avoid.